Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Have a Merry Peace of Mind

I have always been that individual that values peace of mind above most things. It is of my opinion that accomplishments without peace of mind is equivalent to a beach without the serenity or reprieve of the ocean to gaze upon or dive into...a barren stretch of hot sand with nothing to quench the soul. In my book, peace of mind makes all the difference.

With peace of mind comes emotional stability. With emotional stability comes mental strength and edification that allows one to have a positive and uplifting outlook on life which despite class level, material acquisition, educational level, relationship status (single or in a relationship), the individual has a sense of wholesomeness, balance and I dare say, happiness.

Mind you, there is a flip side where many individuals need to have certain things to have peace of mind and nothing is wrong with that. However, the issue then becomes, If I never get to where I need to be in life, will I never have peace of mind? This cannot be the case, and therefore,ultimately it is more important to have peace mind without the reliance on external factors to create your sense of peace.

When an individual has peace of mind, I believe it transforms that individual's demeanor into one that is secure, in control of self and built to withstand almost any chaos. That individual is more able to be introspective rather than reactive and in essence become that peace needed to calm the storm within themselves and around them. They tend to transmit a calming and positive energy to others and their surroundings. They do not feed into feelings of jealousy and bitterness because they are satisfied with themselves and have a sense of self fulfillment even when their accomplishments do not measure up to particular standards.

When an individual has peace of mind, they are self affirmed and rarely need the blessings or approval of others to be happy. In fact, they tend to invite others to share their peace and happiness because they want that positivity to not only be within them but also around them.

A person with peace of mind sleeps better, tends to be healthier, smiles more often and maintains a positive perspective. Their sense of self worth and well-being is much higher than those without peace of mind and they tend to attract like-minded individuals or individuals that are seeking peace of mind.

A person with peace of mind is comfortable with themselves whether they are in solitude or in a crowd because their inner peace motivates them to carry on despite their environment or circumstances.

Unfortunately, an individual's peace of mind can be shaken or violated by individuals that I would like to call "spirit ravagers". Individuals who lack peace of mind and sometimes self love, who try to destroy the peace of mind and happiness of others. The nay-sayers, the abusers, the users, the liars, the persecutors and the overall "buzz killers". Sadly, they are everywhere and they multiply faster than roaches.

The good news is, a resilient spirit cannot be killed and a person with a strong sense of inner peace can be shaken but not shattered by negative forces like these. So, for this upcoming Christmas holiday, muster up your inner peace so you may be warm and luminous to others around you and have a very merry peace of mind.




Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A Contradicting Experience


My husband and I recently had a date night where we decided to see a documentary that was showcased at the Porter Sanford Arts and Community Center on Rainbow Drive in Decatur entitled "Contradiction", authored by Jeremiah Camara. It was quite an experience as one could tell that the audience was filled with "truth seekers", "critical thinkers" and somewhat "liberal minded" individuals, which the nature of the film almost demanded that level of open-mindedness due to its controversial nature. The film featured individuals such as Martin Luther King III, singer Anthony David and Dr. Ray Hagins. The film basically highlighted the disconnect that exists between the black church's practice of "overchurching" and the lack of economical progression in black communities. It was indeed a different angle that incorporated ideas and theories surrounding creationism, atheism, poverty, corruption in the church and false prophet leaders of the church. The film indelibly planted seeds of enlightenment and forced those that weren't already aware to take into consideration the business-like nature of the church and how it is possibly retarding the financial growth within poor communities.

For devout christian followers, the film might actually stir conflicting emotions because the documentary questions the rationale behind faith, beliefs and practices involved in the Christian religion. At one point in the film, the question was raised concerning the significance of the blood shed by Christ who died for our sins and the blood shed by slaves and African Americans who were slaughtered mercilessly for our freedom from slavery, segregation and oppression. The consistent answer given by Christians throughout the film was the blood of Jesus was more significant, which showed the unwavering loyalty black Christians possessed towards their faith and beliefs.

The film raised other important points such as the potential benefits that could possibly arise from leaders of churches, using their platform on Sundays, a time when many black individuals are actually in church worshiping for hours, as an opportunity to educate black people on economic principles that could lead to economical development and progress within communities. In fact, the film proposed that this may actually be the better alternative in contrast to what the church actually does, which is to hype the members on the notion that we should not worry about the future because God will take care of it, which possibly leads to a lack of pro-activeness that does not foster a sense of financial independence and sustainability. The film heralded the Marxist concept of religion being an opium of the people, allowing them to forget the deplorable conditions that they exist in by concentration on the illusions, promises and "feel good messages" of the church. What makes this point even more viable is the film's allusion to the techniques that church leaders use to deliver this "feel good/terror message" that either places the members into a form of psychological trance or hypnosis or the opposite, terrifies them into submission. Ultimately resulting in the members giving their money to these pastors in the form of "tithes and offerings" and time in the form of "praise".

While the film touched on beliefs that contradicts the christian beliefs such as the big bang theory, and the theory of evolution, as a spiritual person and not necessarily religious person, I embraced those parts of the film with a grain of salt, as I believe that science is constantly evolving and changing and does not adequately explain many phenomenons that occur on this earth. Sometimes, they are personal undocumented experiences that science could never study. However, I would have to say that I believe that ninety-seven percent of the film was relevant, significant and accurately portrayed.


I would encourage people within the black community world-wide, not just in the African American community to view this film if possible and open their minds to the message of the film. In so doing, we might open our eyes to the ills and agendas of the church that are hidden in the "feel good message" that are being conveyed to the congregation religiously (no pun intended) and ought to be addressed among ourselves. We need to ask ourselves the question, what is the end results of the money that we donate to these churches? Are they giving back to the community and the people? Or is it being pocketed for personal gains? What is the end result of the time that we donate to churches, is it more beneficial to sit in church for hours focused on one person standing at the pulpit that may just be scamming you out of your time and/or money, or is it more beneficial to go out into the communities and do volunteer work to uplift the poor and struggling members within the community, through education, rebuilding community and various forms of assistance. We need to ask ourselves, how can we transform our churches into a place of not only spiritual growth, but also educational and financial growth that can lead to community development and advancement? These are relevant and critical questions that could be the difference between the continuous state of poverty within the black communities or the economical growth within the black community. This is exactly why I believe this film can act as a mental antidote or vaccine and is worthy of attention from the black community on a mass scale.


                                                          Jeremiah Camara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T30Ekq6bND4

Friday, September 20, 2013

Mommy, you smell like....

I find it funny that even though my blog address is entitled jamaicanfamilywoman.blogspot.com, I rarely write anything personal about my family, even though the initial idea was to make my posts about my family and my experiences about starting from ground zero. Well, in this post, I want to stay true to the concept and write about my darling Amaris' fascination with my scent.

Amaris is my second child and only daughter. She is a year old and even though she looks like her dad, I see my personality permeating through her. She is reserved and low key but loves one on one time with either her dad or myself. She is most comfortable around her family and becomes withdrawn and observant in groups. She also needs time to warm up to non family members. I find this so phenomenal because I am the same way. I completely relate to and understand her personality traits because she reminds me so much of myself. While this should not be shocking, it is to me because one would think that most personality traits are learnt based on observation and imitation. However, she is only a year old which in my view, isn't enough time to internalize aspects of other people's personality just yet. What is even funnier is the fact that her older brother is the opposite. He is a social butterfly that gets along with everyone and emits an overwhelming amount of energy to his surrounding no matter where he is. This is reminiscent of his dad's personality as his dad is also quite sociable. I believe that both my children are a prime example of aspects of personality resulting from genetics.

Amaris is quite attached to me, whereas her brother is more independent which may be because my daughter was breast fed for a much longer time than my son. My daughter has the potential to be away from me for a day, but becomes progressively antsy and agitated during our separation and it becomes clear that she needs to be reunited with me. My son on the other hand has no problem spending up to a week away from me whenever he goes to spend time with his grandma.

I have noticed that whenever, my daughter is ready to go to bed, she will fuss until I hold her and she is able to lay her head on my bosom as many children probably do, but it extends beyond the "pillowy" comfort that comes with resting her head on my chest. She tends bury her face in my bosom and will stick her hand in between my cleavage as she doses off to sleep. I must admit that the feeling takes some getting used to but she is so comfortable that she will fall asleep in no time.

Once she is asleep, I generally have to wait until she is in a deep sleep before I put her in her bed and retire to my bed. However, in about two hours, she will sense that I am not with her and will wake up and come to our (my husband and I) bedroom and climb into bed with us. She won't fall asleep again until her face is again buried into my bosom and her little arm is either resting on my breasts, stomach or some other warm place on my body.

During the days when she is not playing or watching t.v or looking at something educational on my laptop or smart phone, she wants to be held by me or to be lying on me or next to me, preferably with her head resting on my bosom or buried in it. She will place her head on dad's chest if she needs comforting also but only for a short time. She will eventually take off in search of me so she can rest her head on her mommy.

I am aware that this is how she arrives at her zen zone which decreases her stress levels and increases her relaxation and it helps her to bond with me. I also wonder which part of the process is most comforting to her and something tells me that it is the smell. Just the way she will press her face against my bosom trying to get a nose full of what mommy smells like. It is so adorable. Considering also that she was breast fed from birth, I can imagine that she is so used to that "mommy smell" that it is a necessity and helps to facilitate her relaxation process.

When she sleeps and I am not with her, she wakes up crying until she is beside me taking in my scent and basking in my warmth. And when I try to retire to my own bed again, she will eventually realize and request my presence beside her once again. It happens every time.

This led me to wonder what my scent must be like to her and this what I came up with...

Mommy smells like...delicious breast milk
Mommy smells like...warm pillows
Mommy smells like...sleepy time
Mommy smells like...relax time
Mommy smells like...my booboo hurting less
Mommy smells like...heaven
Mommy smells like...silk on my cheeks
Mommy smells like...comfort to my soul
Mommy smells like...I will miss you if you are not around
Mommy smells like...mommy's perfume
Mommy smells like...unconditional love
Mommy smells like...beautiful mornings and stress free evenings
Mommy smells like...forever nights
Mommy smells like...lullabies
Mommy smells like...feeling safe
Mommy smells like...the best mom in the world.

My daughter speaks in one word sentences but she doesn't need to speak for me to know this. Whenever she is resting her head on my bosom and I look into her round eyes and she gives me that smile of satisfaction, I understand every unspoken word that she tells me in that moment. In that moment when I am compelled to smile back and kiss her forehead to seal our bond. It is a pretty awesome feeling.





Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Young Love...

My 20 year old little sister who is now standing on the precipice of adulthood, and is taking adulthood by the horns, including love and relationship, recently wrote a very beautiful poem to her beau and I just had to share it. It is the type of poem that will take you back to your early adulthood years when you had little experience, a lot of expectations and your brain was swimming in emotions and hormones that got you high off being in love. I wish my sister and her wonderful boyfriend all the best.

For Amelia and Karieffe



"This Years Love"

This year's love had better last


Heaven knows it's high time


And I've been waiting on my own for too long


But when you hold me like you do


It feels so right I start to forget


How my heart gets torn and when that hurt gets thrown


Feeling like I can't go on.Turning circles time and time again


It cuts like a knife ,so deep within.

.
If you love me, got to know for sure


Cos' it takes something more this time,

 
More than sweet bitter lies,before I open up my arms and fall


Losing all control...crashing into your heart to meet Every dream inside my soul.


And then you kiss me....on that midnight street. Sweep me off my feet

Singing ain't this life so sweet...hoping


This year's love better last,So who's



to worry If our hearts get torn,When that hurt 

gets thrown

Don't you know in this life it's worth the try ....


By Amelia White

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The age of Internet Gangsters

I recently discovered that I did not need to have a YouTube account in order to comment on YouTube videos so I gave it a shot. I decided to comment on a very controversial video that had surfaced on YouTube. It was a video by the band Day Above Ground and the song is called "Asian Girlz". The video pretty much threw out all the stereotypes that ever existed about Asians in a twisted way of letting the band's adoration for Asian women be known. This was not taken well by many people of all races as many people viewed the song and video as racist despite the band's attempt to clarify that the musical production was not meant to be racist or offensive, but instead it was meant to be racy, edgy and satirical.

My take on the video was that it was blatantly stereotypical, racy and vulgar in some aspects but I could not be offended as I understood the message that they were trying to convey. They were pretty much explaining that they love Asian girls and the stereotypical associations that are attached to Asian girls. They were being absolutely ridiculous in their expression and it was pretty much successful at getting a laugh out of more liberal minded individuals.

Well, I was one of the few people that didn't view it as offensive or racist and instead viewed it more along the lines of silliness on the part of the band members. Once I made that clear on YouTube. The backlash were angry, intolerant and borderline insulting remarks from other viewers. It became increasingly clear to me that once you let your opinion be seen on YouTube and it is not the mainstream opinion, your opinion will not be respected and chances are there will be some level of internet bullying in an attempt to either get you to change your mind or just simply to make you feel bad.

The comments attached to that video became more and more racist and inappropriate. The band members were consistently being attacked while the Asian girl who was a part of the video was being rebuked and insulted for being a part of the video. I actually felt some level of sympathy for them but considering that they had not removed the video I figured that the band didn't mind the negative publicity. However, as for the rest of us who dared not agree that the video was racist, we had to deal with the angry internet mob.

I did not succumb to the internet pressures as I held firm to my stance but I found myself getting irate at how intolerant and insulting some of the comments were. Each time I told myself that I was making the last comment on the page, an outrageous comment by another person would pull me back and provoke me into responding. As much as I did not agree with majority of the comments on the site, I tried as best as possible to be respectful to others but when you are in the midst of a group of internet gangsters, It seems that "netiquette" matters not.

When one has the freedom to say exactly how they feel at the click of a button with very little consequences in reality, then virtual reality rules clearly apply. People will insult others at the drop of a hat. It gets so wild that people actually remain on the internet, specifically YouTube, for hours and hours, losing sleep going back and forth with their internet nemesis. I fell victim to that until I got a grip and realized that the whole thing was ridiculous.

I also learned that there is a term specifically used to describe the people who literally dedicated all their comments and responses to the purpose of ill intent. The term is trolling. They type the most filthy and outrageous comments you could think of hoping to cut the target down to size. It was incredible because I witnessed first hand how expressing your thoughts and opinions on a video or article could quickly escalate into an ongoing war of words, wit and insults.

This made me realize just how real internet bullying is and that we indeed live in an age of internet gangsters where average unassuming individuals who would never have the guts to argue with you face to face but feel empowered by their anonymity or their safe haven behind their computer screen will say the most hurtful and vicious of things in their attempt to bully, belittle or degrade other individuals via the internet.

I am not sure if this type of behavior or culture will change or can even be affected considering that these internet trolls are generally nameless or faceless and are armed with the knowledge that they can type whatever they want on the internet. However, I would just like to do my part in imploring people to act with civility and respect even when their are no perceived consequences because of the fact that their are so many fragile and vulnerable individuals in the world, some of which are children and you never know if your words can be the catalyst to dangerous results in the life of another.


In addition to this, we have to learn to respect other's opinions even if we do not agree with it. Too many times people forget that everyone is entitled to their opinion and are quick to try to attack the other person's intelligence, character and appearance in order to validate their own opinion. When it pertains to opinions, there is no one way of thinking. Some opinions may be lacking and some may be informative. Some opinions are so passionate they provoke a debate but regardless, it is always best to be respectful. While the internet gives us the privilege of exercising freedom of speech, each individuals ought to weigh their words carefully before posting it on a medium that is so public because the fact is, there is potential for there to be negative repercussions, the most obvious one being, hurting another person emotionally. As such, let's please use the power of the internet responsibly.


Monday, September 2, 2013

The False Identity of Hair


Firstly, let me put it out there that I have found the debate to be quite tedious and exhausting, not because of the message, but simply because many people who try to enforce the message of "hair identity" generally use a type of aggressive tactic that attempts to question and attack the self-esteem of many black women. One will hear things like, if a black woman straightens her hair or wears weave, they are reflecting a deep rooted self hatred for their black ethnicity. Or, black women are trying so hard to be white that they will change the texture of their hair or wear fake hair or extensions to hide the natural form of their hair. To be honest, I find these statements to be quite inflammatory.

 I am in complete support of the black woman parading her hair in its naturally curly or kinky form but does this give some black people the right to belittle black women who have made the personal choice not to do the same? The air of superiority and self-righteousness that sometimes follow the decision to "go natural" is so palpable sometime you can almost cut it with a pair of scissors...I mean knife.

It is yet another way, for the black community to further separate ourselves from our brothers and sisters based on superficial traits, when we already divide ourselves based on skin shades, educational status, class status and I dare say it, social groups such as fraternities and sororities. What are we doing to ourselves as a people?

I understand the idea or theory of self hatred seeming to be reflected through hair relaxers and weaves, but truly, is it really an indication that we hate our ethnicity?

Let us take a peek into history to understand how wigs and hair alterations were viewed in Egypt. According to the website http://www.reshafim.org.il/ad/egypt/index.html Ancient Egypt, both men and women would adorn themselves with wigs made from human hair and later date palm fibers, which were curled and the shape preserved by waxing. They were worn either for fashion purposes or to hide deficiencies such as bald spots. Rich women used elaborately carved combs, hairpins, razors and hand held metal mirrors and curled their hair. According to another website Facts and Details, wigs were quite popular in ancient Egypt. It also explained that a female body from a working class grave dated around 3500 B.C had evidence of hair coloring (henna) and hair weaving (locks of human hair tied to natural objects to obtain extravagant behive hairdos). They added that Egyptians added false hair to their own as a way of adding length to their hair.

Many African tribes are known for also adorning their hair with fixtures and extensions that range from animal hair, cloth-like material and even plastic hair as in the case of the Himba people living in Northern Namibia.

What am I trying to say? Are we harder on our modern day black women who might be guilty of simply trying to adorn herself with extensions, braids, wigs? Are we harshly judging our black women who are choosing alternative ways of beautifying themselves? Or are we in a perpetual state of denial as it relates to our "hair identity"?

This brings me to my next point, the concept of beauty. As a Black woman myself, I can definitely relate to the idea that Black women were systematically brainwashed in terms of concepts of beauty. We are bombarded everyday with the Eurocentric ideals of beauty which is normally associated with straight or wavy hair, blue or green eyes, lighter skin color and other Eurocentric features. However, are we overlooking a very vital point? There are black or dark people that also share some of these features! Let's take for example, the indigenous people of Australia who are dark skinned with straight hair. There are also the indigenous people of the Solomon Island that have naturally blonde hair. Let us also assess the fact that not all Caucasian or European individuals fit the blonde straight hair blue eyes standard of ethnicity. Many of them are also naturally endowed with full lips, kinky hair and dark brown eyes which speaks a lot about genes and genetic mutation. With these genetic occurrences, we need to acknowledge that our "black and white" (no pun intended) way of thinking is not adequate.





Therefore, if particular genes pertaining to hair texture or eye color can be identified in more than one race, it is evident that certain physical human characteristics is not restricted to a particular ethnicity. As such, the question then becomes, do people try to look like a particular race or are they simply subscribing to their personal concept of beauty?

Caucasian women that tan, black women that straighten their hair and Asian women that change their facial bone structure are all ascribing to achieve a look that they deem as beautiful. This phenomenon of women altering physical features is widespread among many ethnicity. Even in the renaissance era, women would paint their face, neck and cleavage white with white lead because they believed that it was beautiful. Should this be seen as hatred for one's race or even self?

However, not to stray from the topic at hand. Is it fair to actually purport that Black women that straighten their hair or wear wigs and extensions are actually suffering from the illness of self-hatred and are desperately trying to identify with the Caucasians? I believe that attempting to identify racial self-hatred through some behavioral patterns can be dangerous because some behavioral patterns can be a "false sign" of such a phenomenon. There are obvious signs and subtle signs of racial self-hatred but I believe that "hair" tends to be the "scape goat" . I believe that  certain signs need to be examined carefully before they are identified conclusively as signs of self hatred on a racial level.

 I find it ironic that some sisters who go natural, will sometimes color their hair, texturize their hair or occasionally straighten their hair but look down on another sister who decides to permanently straighten their hair or wear wigs and extensions because their hair is fake or altered. There is a level of absurdity that comes with that form of thinking because whether one slightly or completely alter the texture or color of their hair, the point is it has been altered.

The reasons any woman of any race would alter the texture of their hair are plenty. The reasons a black woman would alter the texture of her hair or wear wigs and extensions are also abundant. However, the main reason that is cited for a black woman doing this is because she hates herself and her race and is trying to be Caucasian due to her "identity crises."  Again, I can't stress enough just how offensive such a statement is and it almost works as a self fulfilling prophecy because if you say it enough people will start believing it. The fact is, it is only one reason and may not be the main reason either. Other reasons black women alter their hair and wears wigs and extensions are:

Texturizing and or relaxing their naturally curly or kinky hair makes it more easily manageable. Many black women have very thick curly or kinky hair that gets tangled easily and is quite hard to manage on a daily basis, so they do this to make it less of a hassle as in my case. There are many suggestions to help manage curly or kinky hair in it's natural form and some women have the time and patience while others do not and chose to texturize or relax.

Some women believe that texturizing or relaxing their hair will allow their hair to grow longer and faster.

Some black women believe that their hair looks beautiful in a straight form but are not necessarily trying to have a Eurocentric appeal. It is simply another hairstyle or way of wearing their hair.

Some black women wear wigs and extensions to give their own hair a break from the every day stress and hassle of combing, heating and other external elements that damages the hair.

Some black women wear extensions and wigs because they suffer from hair loss due to illnesses or treatment of illnesses such as chemotherapy, or even due to freak accidents such as fire and acid burns.

Some women, are probably too tired or overwhelmed (others might be too lazy) to fuss with their own hair on a daily basis and chose the alternative of wigs and extensions to make hair management easier.

Other women like to wear wigs and extensions because they believe that it is fashionable, beautiful and enhances their own beauty and, again are not necessarily trying to have a Eurocentric appeal.

I believe that how ever a person decides to wear their hair is a personal choice. A hair style can be used to make a personal statement, political statement, a religious statement and a fashion statement. Whatever statement a person wants to make with their hair is a personal choice and should not be a premise for judgement or attacks. I personally do not believe that hair is a mark of identity but only one of the many physical feature that is a part of the human body. It is one of the things on our body that practically regenerates itself at varying rates under normal conditions and can be altered to express a person's creativity, inclinations, fashion sense and or political views. Genetically, it comes in many shades ranging from black to white (albinos). It comes in varying lengths and also varying textures and I believe in God's eyes, all hair types are beautiful. None is superior to another. The notion of hair types being superior or inferior is only a fallacy in the human construct of social acceptance.

I believe that as black people, we need to stop using superficial reasons to belittle our brothers and sisters. We need to uplift and love each other by promoting mental consciousness and spiritual consciousness. We need to step away from the frivolities that we use to divide ourselves, especially trivial concepts like our "hair identity". I believe it takes away from the real issues that plague the black race such as the senseless killing of young black boys by our own people, poverty stricken black communities and countries and the lack of wealth within our black communities to change the condition, let alone sustain ourselves as a people. Or even how we disrespect ourselves as a people through the media by promoting destructive music and slanderous behavior that adds to the negative stereotypes of black people.

We need to remind ourselves that we are beautiful not because of what is on our heads but regardless of what is on our heads and that "hair" plays a very small part in the grand scheme of things when it pertains to the discrepancies existing within the black communities. Let's enrich ourselves historically, mentally and financial and not be so focused on physical features and temporary fashion statements.


Monday, August 19, 2013

Tribute To Usain Bolt

Usain Bolt, young and playful like a colt, powerful like its father, A stallion you are racing down the track
The track that you have sealed with your track record of glory and triumph, the country's pride stands on your back!

Usain Bolt, your confidence makes you stand taller than Xerxes, your collection of gold brighter than all of his combined
You rein dominant, King in your field, outrunning other nations and leaving your legacy behind.

Usain Bolt, you achieved the greatest times ever, Greatest of all time in your time. Flying to the finish line on invisible wings, some may say Pegasus wings but you are far from mythical,
You are as real as a lightening bolt, true to your name powered by strength and motivation, your
ability is super but natural.

Usain Bolt, you are the definition of athletic greatness, other runners have to confess that your skills are unmatched. Even on your worst day you challenge other greats and push them to their limit
On your best day, you create new records and reformat old digits.

Usain Bolt, Blazing your way to victory, emblazoning our flag in sports history, you tell the story of our people overcoming strife as we strive for our medals,
Fleeing only the wind as you chase the time and kick up the dust, with your unfaltering essence, you are without a doubt unequivocal.

Usain Bolt, You are ready and set to go, and your country supports you. We love you and thank God for you and cheer you on because you deliver
And even when the sun sets on your wary feet, it doesn't matter, the unprecedented foundation you've created will always make your our winner.











By: Charm White ©






Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Marijuana Is A Plant First And Foremost...

After watching the CNN documentary WEED,(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-bYi-LkDTo) I felt brave enough to blog about the cannabis plant. I have been hesitant for some time now to give my opinion on the subject of marijuana because of the controversial nature of the topic, but after almost being moved to tears by the touching documentary hosted by Sanjay Gupta, I could not resist because he only confirmed my thoughts about marijuana.

Let me first start out by saying that I do not advocate the use of dangerous street drugs, neither do I advocate the abuse of prescription drugs. However, I have never, nor will I ever consider marijuana to be a "dangerous drug" and therefore I do not think it belongs in the category of street drugs. I believe it ought to be considered equal to if not better than the consumption of alcohol or cigarettes which are legal but have caused more damages or death directly or indirectly. I say "better than" because in all my life, I have never heard of someone dying directly or even indirectly from marijuana. That is, there are no statistics out there that can link marijuana with accidents or death but the mortality rate that stems from the intake of alcohol and cigarettes are overwhelming.

However, before I expound any further on my perspective of marijuana, I would like to state some facts about marijuana that should enlighten many people that are anti-marijuana simply because they were indoctrinated on the negative effects of marijuana and probably did not take the time out to research credible reports out there on the plant and the use of marijuana.

Many studies show that marijuana has psychoactive effects on users due to the THC property that is found in the cannabis plant. This property travels to the brain in the blood stream by way of the lungs and heart after an individual smoke the substance. Once it reaches the brain, a series of activities takes place that ultimately leads to the release of the chemical Dopamine which is the reason individuals will feel a sense of euphoria, "high or "buzz". Many people actually try to obtain different strains of marijuana with greater THC potency so that they can achieve the ultimate high. However, using marijuana in a controlled environment often times only leads to moments of deep relaxation and increase in appetite.

Another negative effect of marijuana that has been tossed around as a reason to stay away from marijuana is that theory that smoking weed also leads to the decrease in or loss of motivation to complete tasks. While this may be the case for some people, I have found that it is not a guaranteed effect of marijuana. What I have found instead is that many people will wait until they get off from work and are trying to wind down. They will smoke weed in order to quickly reach a state of relaxation. In other cases, people will smoke before work as a way to reduce their tension so that they can face their day with a better attitude. I do in fact notice that the individual might actually be less alert and sometimes slow down their cognitive process and overall movement but they remain quite functional.

Another substance that is found in marijuana but is being accredited more and more for its medicinal property is the compound CBD. It is claimed by Sanjay Gupta and a few other daring doctors that both THC and CBD kill cancer cells. In addition to this, marijuana has been known to help patients suffering from depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), (http://medicalmarijuana.com/experts/expert/title.cfm?artID=65). It has also been used to diminish pain in patients, increase appetite, and even help to reduce high blood pressure. However, the most compelling claim that I have heard was on Dr. Sanjay Gupta's documentary "Weed" where a five year old who suffered from Dravet Syndrome and suffered from over 300 seizures a day was able to live normal life after being treated with cannabis. The parents had exhausted treatment and medical options, none of which improved the child's condition. It was not until the parents decided to try marijuana that was low in THC and high in CBD that the child showed significant improvement. They extracted the oils from the plant and administered doses of the oil to their daughter via syringes. The result was fast acting and effective.

In my personal experience, people that I have observed smoking marijuana have claimed that it treated headaches and toothaches. I have known college students who claimed that they were able to study better and retain more information from studying after smoking the plant because it allowed them to relax and concentrate and even allowed them to understand the material better. One memorable instance I have observed, was when a friend of mine had smoked some marijuana prior to work. This person was a regular smoker of marijuana as well. The person was a landscaper. The person's demeanor was quite mellow for the entire morning and you could tell that they were "buzzing", however, it did not interfere with the job and even more impressive was the fact that each time the person asked for something to be tossed to them, they caught it with such precision, that it was clear that their reflexes were in tact despite their "buzz". It was amazing because people generally expect the opposite. I was able to see the claim by Dr. Sanjay Gupta that regular marijuana users were more functional after smoking marijuana than occasional users, in practice.

I believe that due to the fact that marijuana is a plant, it is possible to find many properties that can cure many ailments that affect the human body as herbs are widely known to do that. In Jamaica, many people could actually go into their backyards or to the market, select a herb or plant root remedies to treat simple ailments. An example of this would be a plant we call "fever bush". I remember occasions when I would get a fever and my mother would acquire the "fever bush" and make some tea with it and give it to me. In about an hour or so I would be feeling better. There are many people in my country that know of natural remedies that could cure high blood pressure or cure blood clots as well as ridding the body of unhealthy toxins overall. This not only saved on hospital bills but also reduced side effects that occurs when we take prescription drugs. It may be a simplistic view to have but considering that marijuana is a plant as well, I believe that it also has the capacity to naturally treat or cure many diseases and ailments and studies have shown that this claim is in fact true. Of course, some plants are poisonous such as poison ivy, and clearly not fit for consumption. Realistically speaking, marijuana is not like such plants.

Of course, organizations are concerned that if states should start legalizing marijuana across the board then the repercussions can be quite devastating because we may not only be encouraging a nation of addicts but would also be making it easy for marijuana users to carry out tasks while under the influence, some of which might be hazardous for themselves and others around them. However, I do not believe that this can be any different from legalization of alcohol which statistically had even more fatalities than ever when it pertains to overdosing or completing tasks such as driving while under the influence. Since the research on marijuana is still a slow and lingering process, making the use of marijuana compatible with the law is clearly the answer. By this I mean, implement regulations that encourages that marijuana users smoke in moderation and smoke responsibly.

Another thing that we need to understand is that marijuana sales are through the roof despite its illegal status. Many people make a living selling the plant for whatever reasons, whether it is for medicinal use or recreational use. With unemployment being a real crises for many individuals, self-employment or creative methods of employment have increased. However, because the use of marijuana is illegal, so is the selling or distribution of the plant. This places added pressure on those that sell marijuana part-time or full-time making it more difficult to benefit from the sale of marijuana. Conventional individuals believe that this is the correct way to go. However, for others who empathize with the struggles of the unemployed or individuals who receive low income, we understand that this is a "necessary evil" for many marijuana sellers.

I believe that people need to recondition their initial ideas and reconsider the potential of this plant. I believe that the study of marijuana should be federally funded if it is not being federally funded already. I think that we are sitting on something that has great potential to improve humanity in it's natural form as well as in it's isolated form. I believe that marijuana can be modified to increase or decrease chemical components that can be used to treat whatever disease at whatever age and as such we cannot ignore the fact that we have the ability to genetically alter this plant to suit our medical needs. We need to also look at the fact that it is a source of income for many individuals. We need to take a practical approach to the marijuana plant and I hope that I will live to see the day when marijuana is legalized world wide.







Friday, August 9, 2013

Safe-Guarding Our Children Against Sex Offenders

One of the most uncomfortable
topics that a parent could ever find themselves discussing is sexual molestation or sexual abuse regarding our children. Most parents try as best as possible to shelter their children from this matter. Some may never even talk about this with their children unless they are forced. However, the fact is, I believe that we live in a world that warrants such a discussion among parents and with our children once they are at that age to understand. This discussion is warranted because we live in a world where pedophiles exist, sex trafficking is rampant and where children are being kidnapped and molested by not only strangers, but people that they actually know.

Just recently, a friend of mine disclosed to me that a minor was sexually assaulted by the maintenance man at her apartment complex. Prior to this incident, there were reports of this same man taking pictures of children at the playground. When he was asked about his actions, he explained that it was to notify the parents of the children that they (particular children) were misbehaving. He was asked to desist taking pictures and everything seemed to be back to normal until about a week ago when police arrived on the complex searching for this man for allegedly assaulting a minor.

This hit very close to home because whenever I visit this friend, I allow my children to play with her children at the playground. Thankfully, I never leave them unsupervised but to discover that a person that worked at the complex was possibly a pedophile, was actually quite horrifying. I have actually seen this person and spoken to this person on occasions and he seemed like a really affable person. Little did we know that this man was a potential threat to the safety of our children.

I am sure many of us are familiar with the case of Ariel Castro who kidnapped and sexually tortured three young ladies for a period of ten years. Just recently, a man attempted to kidnap a five year old girl in Pennsylvania. He was still lurking within the community with the young girl in his car when he was spotted and chased until he released the little girl. These are just cases of young girls. Our young boys are also in danger of sexual abuse and sex trafficking. Just recently, Ronnie Johnson, a former principal at Young Leaders Academy in Milwaukee was accused of sexually assaulting three young boys who he would invite for sleepovers to his home. The sad part is, the parents and the young boys were very familiar with this man and they respected him.

As a young girl, way before my pubescent years, my mother was one of those parents that would instill certain "golden rules" into my DNA. Some of which were:
  • Do not talk to strangers
  • Do not accept gifts from strangers
  • Do not let anyone touch you inappropriately 
  • If someone touches you inappropriately tell my mom or dad.
  • Never go anywhere with a stranger
  • Scream and try to run away if someone is trying to touch, harm or kidnap you
  • Try to bite them as hard as you can.

She would tell me these instructions as if they were apart of the ten commandments. As a child I believed that if I defied any of these "rules", I was committing a sin and there would be serious consequences. She would also tell us stories of little girls that got hurt by dangerous people.  I suppose it was a scare tactic but it was very effective with my sisters and I.

Of course, we do not want to scare our children but we want to safeguard them against people that threaten their security, innocence and lives. Therefore, it is actually beneficial to sit and converse with our children about the dangers of trusting strangers and to show them how to identify when someone they do know is being inappropriately attentive to them and their bodies. We need to effectively explain to our children what "inappropriate" is and let them know what they can do if someone is trying to harm them or kidnap them.

It becomes even more complicated when the perpetrator of the sexual abuse are family members or worst, the child's own parent(s). In cases like this, we can only hope that the poor child is brave enough to tell a teacher, guidance counsellor or even the police.  

We are living in a world where too many children are falling prey to dangerous pedophiles and sex traffickers. Too many children are turning up missing or dead because of these predators. Too many children are found when it is already too late because they have been prostituted or enslaved for sexual purposes and they are more than likely scarred and traumatized beyond repair.

We need to help and protect our children against these dangers and we need to help our children to help themselves. We need to enable them with knowledge that gives them the option to protect themselves. We need to talk to our children about the "bad seeds" in our world. Thus, creating a safer world where the innocence of our children can be preserved.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Community Policing With Zero Casualties

Recently in Lancaster Township in Pennsylvania, a five year old girl was abducted from her yard which prompted a community search. Many individuals within the community alongside law enforcement searched the area fervently with hopes of finding the child. Included in the search party were two teenagers, Temar Boggs and Chris Garcia who chose to use their bikes in their effort to find the 5 year old, Jocelyn Rojas. Their efforts were ultimately successful as they spotted the abductor with the child inside his car. The two teenaged boys immediately chased the car and continued chasing the car for fifteen minutes until the abductor finally gave up and released the little girl. The boys in turn, returned the terrified child to her family.

I can't imagine a better ending to a horrifying start. Thanks to the efforts of these two boys, a kidnapping was intercepted and there is now one less missing child out there. Due to the actions of these boys, the kidnappers agenda was thwarted and the man was not able to destroy the life of yet another innocent child. I am so happy for the family of this little girl and grateful to these young boys.

I also wanted to make the point that when community assistance and policing is done right, the results can only be positive for everyone involved. Unfortunately the man was not caught and the police officer's are still searching for this child kidnapper whom I presume is either a pedophile or sex trafficker. However, it is more important that the young girl was found and no lives were lost in the process.

I believe that if we are going to take matters in our own hands when we believe a crime is in progress, as in this case, let us not chase after suspects with loaded guns and with the mentality of using the gun when things start going awry. In this case, the police were on the scene trained for any volatile situation and these two boys chased the car after identifying the kidnapped child inside the car. The boys were able to follow the man safely until the man decided to release the child, after which, instead of continuing the chase and accosting the suspect, they opted to return the child to her family and divulged the critical information they observed from their chase  to the authorities to help further the investigation of the suspect.

The situation could have also gone terribly wrong if the suspect had decided to react to being chased in an aggressive manner. He could have decided to start driving recklessly, or to threaten the life of the child inside the car or even had a gun and decided to use the gun on the teenagers, the child and or himself. In all those cases, the law enforcement was there and could immediately intervene.

I am satisfied with the way this scenario unfolded as we have seen how community policing have gone terribly wrong in the case of Trayvon Martin, who lost his life after being confronted by someone who believed he was "protecting" the community from the teenager. My hope is that we try to learn from both these cases to make "community policing" more effective and successful for all parties involved, even the suspects. This way, we can prevent future unnecessary deaths.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Moments when I am hit by Jamaicanstalgia...

I have decided to select moments in the U.S that take me back home to Jamaica. I decided to take a few pictures in an attempt to capture these moments and share it in this posts. However, not all the pictures were taken by me as unfortunately I am not in Jamaica to take some Jamaican pictures, but I managed to find some great shots nonetheless. So this post will be less for reading pleasure and more for viewing pleasure.
 My husband took the above picture of this butterfly outside of his work place a couple days ago....
It reminded me of our swallowtail butterfly in Jamaica.

Every time I go to Walmart I go straight to this Jamaican isle to pick up a few items.

This little section was like a Jamaican gold mine when I discovered it inside of Walmart. They even have the Shirley Biscuits available in this section.

Every time I go to Food Depot I go to this isle which as you can see, it is quite similar to the one inside Walmart

As a Jamaican, I grew up on D&G sodas and Grace products so I cannot help but get nostalgic when I enter these isles.


The above picture is of a Jamaican grocery store with Jamaican products in abundance. While the Jamaican section inside Walmart and Food Depot are only a fraction of this store, I'll take what I can get.




This used to be a Jamaican restaurant owned by a Rastafarian man near my home in Georgia. When it was up and running, the Rastafarian man would come out in the evenings and jerk his chicken on a real "drum pan" and it tasted great. I supported his business a couple times but eventually stopped because it was less expensive to cook my own Jamaican food than to buy it but it did remind me of home. The structure of this building is so similar to many small businesses in Jamaica that I just had to share this picture.





This little Jamaican shop in this picture is a classic example of many of the small businesses that is created from the innovations of our the Jamaican people.









The picture below is also a small business near my home in Georgia that offers products to those from the Caribbean among other immigrants but it reminded me so much of some stores in Jamaica that I had to include it.



The picture below is of a store in Jamaica and while there is only a slight resemblance to the one above it, you can see why I still think of Jamaica when I see shops like these in America.




My friend in Jamaica sent me this picture of our Jamaican market, of course the best place to get organic fruits and vegetables from local farmers in Jamaica.

 The flea markets that I have been to here in the U.S.A have a similar set-up and atmosphere. It is another experience that makes me think of home. Both these pictures below are showing particular areas within a flea market. You can also find a variety of other items such as clothing at both the Jamaican market and the American Flea Market


I really wish I had more pictures to display and compare on this blog but for now this what I have compiled. Enjoy!!! 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

When Babies Hit That Unmentioned Milestone

Unfortunately, I have joined one of the many mothers out there that have discovered with great dread that their child has hit that milestone that we dare not mention to family and friends because we are either so embarrassed that our child is doing it, or we blame ourselves for the reason our child is doing it. I call it the "Potty Mouth" milestone...dum dum duuum.

I believe that the label is self-explanatory but let me expound on it nonetheless. The "Potty Mouth" milestone is when your child has reached that stage where they start picking up sufficient vocabulary to express themselves clearly. One or a few of the words that somehow find their way into your child's vocabulary are words that are not age appropriate and parents generally do not approve of the child's usage of these words. These words tend to be vulgar and obscene and can cause utter embarrassment if and when that child uses it in public.

To my dismay, my child has unfortunately hit that milestone. He only uses one particularly atrocious phrase. "Oh S...." but one phrase is enough to have me enter into "potty mouth" eradication mode which doesn't seem to be working at the moment might I add. It is quite stressful. Dad and I are now playing the blame game trying to figure out who he possibly picked it up from and we are both embarrassed to say the least.

My son has grasped the concept of that particular phrase so well that he knows how to say it with emphasis and he understands the circumstances that requires the use of such a phrase. He will say it if he drops something, or if his sister drops something. If he bumps into the wall or furniture, he will say it. If he sees another person accidentally hurt themselves he will say it as well. It is quite disturbing to hear especially because he is only two years old. Every time his dad and I hear our son  using the expression, we stop whatever we are doing to address it. We tell him "No, do not say that word." He grins because I suppose he thinks the whole thing is funny. Then a follow-up "sweetie you cannot say that word."

I hope he grows out of it for his sake. Thankfully, so far, my husband and I have been lucky enough to escape the disapproving glares of other parents but we know if our son continues, those glares are ultimately coming our way. Even though I am not certain that he picked up the profanity from us, we are still being extra careful with what we say around our children because the fact is, a child that is learning how to speak and is building their vocabulary believes that all words are innocent and doesn't understand the social implications of "bad words" until their parents make them understand the difference between normal words and expletives.

I have seen other toddlers do it which proves that the "potty mouth" milestone is not as unusual as a few people might think. It is simply unmentioned by many parents and I can understand why. I am sure many parents like myself think to themselves "why couldn't he/she have picked up a word like auspicious, why a profanity?" but I suppose in the end, it happens and we can only try to discourage their usage of such inappropriate words or phrases and if that doesn't work, just pray they grow out of it. Dear lord, please let my son grow out of it!

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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Legacy Of The Stay At Home Mom

In this modern era, not many women want to be a stay at home mom. Many women prefer careers and school as opposed to being a full-time housewife. There is something fulfilling and motivating about taking the career world by the horns and conquering it. It gives men and women alike a great sense of accomplishment and prestige. However, some level of prestige is also attached to rich housewives who marry well and can afford to remain at home and organize their household and care for their children. In addition to this, there are the women who actually attempt to combine the best of both worlds and juggle career life with family life.

However, in this blog, I want to talk about regular stay at home moms who are not rich and are not interested in careers or prestige. The stay at home mom's whose lives are all about the home, the children and being the backbone of their family by keeping abreast the household matters. The ones that choose to be a housewife in order to ensure that the home is running efficiently for the benefit of her children and spouse.

When my first child was born and I realized that he would require special care even after he came out of the hospital, I started rethinking my feminist stand on stay at home moms. Prior to my children, I saw myself as a woman capable of conquering the career world, shunning the traditional view of women as nurturers and embracing the new age woman who could achieve anything that her male counterpart could achieve.

Post children, I began shedding my feminist skin and embracing myself as a nurturer. I began wishing that I did not have to work but could stay at home and give my undivided attention to my children and making my home comfortable for me and my family. I began seeing my job as a hindrance to my family life as it forced me to find babysitters that I knew would not care for my children exactly the way I wanted. When I came home from work, I would be so tired that my immediate reflex was to fall on the bed and close my eyes. Unsurprisingly, because I had two babies that are one year apart, going to bed early was never an option. I would end up going to bed around midnight and wake up every two hours to feed my darlings. By the time it was morning, I had to get up and get ready for work and do the process all over again. I was sleep deprived for a while.

Eventually, my husband and I managed to work out a schedule where we did not need babysitters and where there was always a parent with the children. Unfortunately, this did not help our sleeping schedule as we still had a lot on our plates like school and work. I continued to discuss becoming a "housewife" with my husband so we could cut some slack in our tight schedule.

While I am still working part time, I am looking forward to being a stay at home mom. I believe that the old fashioned moms back in the day had very good reasons to be content with being housewives. Investing as much time as possible with my children has yielded such great results that I know that if I were to be at home with my children all the time, their progress would be even greater.

Stay at home moms have this as their legacy. That is, being able to be with their children more often than working mothers. They get the opportunity to supervise their children more closely and to be more hands on with their children. This is not to say working moms are not great mom's too. However, based on personal experience, the less I worked, the more time I could spend with my babies supervising and teaching them things that have made them somewhat advanced for their age. The eldest baby is only two years old and already knows his ABC from a-z. He knows how to count, he knows his colors and he knows his shapes. He knows how to use my laptop and smart phone as well and is able to navigate his way to Youtube to look at his favorite learning programs such as The Mothergoose Club on his own. My second child who is only a year old is following in her big brother's footsteps as she tries to recite the letters of the alphabet as well as he does. She holds her fingers up when she tries to count and is also able to use the smart phone but not as well as her big brother. It inspires me to continue investing my time in giving my children basic education.



Even though this way of mothering sounds great, the fact is, we live in a day and age where many mothers choose to work out of necessity. Many mothers are either single parents, or the breadwinner of their families due to one thing or the other and as much as they would like to spend all their waking moments with their children, they are just unable to as the priority of providing for their families needs takes some level of precedence over quality time with the family. As such they find themselves bartering for time as it relates to their children. Thankfully, women have the superpower of being able to be a provider and a nurturer simultaneously and do get both jobs done and produce wonderful well adjusted children in the process which proves just how spectacular most moms are. Providing that I had the option to choose though, I believe I would want to be a housewife/stay at home mom for the sake of my children.