The Stab Of Infidelity


I am not here to write about avoiding infidelity. Infidelity, like love, anger, hate and betrayal is a part of everyday human interaction. Sometime we luck up and go through life without experiencing the heart wrenching effects of infidelity. Congratulations, the heavens have smiled fondly upon you. Today, I want to address those that have been through infidelity, not only being the victim but those that have dished it as well.
The question now becomes, Where do you go after infidelity? Do you end the relationship? Do you work through it? Do you heal? What will people say about you if it was a public betrayal? So many questions go through your mind especially if you are married.
The truth is, there is no right way or wrong way to handle infidelity.I say if both parties are willing to work through it, then you follow your heart and remember this, it is nobody's business but your own. I will also say this, if this is habitual then unless you are into poly-amorous relationships, get out, that person has no interest in maintaining your emotional and psychological well being. However, at the end of the day, do what feels right.
However, one of the biggest questions is: Why? Why do they do it? For those that have cheated, you are not necessarily a bad person. You might be going through internal turmoils of your own that has caused you to unravel in this way. Others may have just failed to find the fulfillment they craved in the relationship that they were in. I have also heard that some people are just wired that way. Whatever it is, you hope that the cheater reconciles with their dark side and sometimes they do. Sometimes my fellow readers, cheaters do change but not always.
Infidelity is most of the time, more traumatizing for the person that was cheated on. How do they regroup and is the relationship worth saving at this time? How do you trust that person again? Some of us never recuperate from infidelity, we just move on because once the trust is gone, what do you have? Even if you love the person, love without trust is as unfulfilling as it gets.
Sometimes it is just best to move on, especially if the betrayal was one that shattered your identity, your self-esteem and self-worth. But sometimes,your relationship is worth saving, especially if your flawed partner is genuinely remorseful and will do anything to make you trust them again because they understand that what they did was wrong. They also understand the extent to which they damaged you.
Infidelity is hard, and whether or not you continue with the relationship, there will be a smile waiting for you after the dust clears because you know, you made the right decision.